Julian is one of my favorites also. She was the subject of a couple of posts of mine here recently. I’m amazed that a 14th century mystic is still beloved and revered even today. Thank you for sharing this.
I’ve just returned from a ten day visit with my daughter’s family. Celebrating Mother’s Day together was a special time to reflect and notice how my mothering ways have been passed on. She remembers my patience (though I think she’s way more patient with her three teenagers than I ever was!). And now I find expressing Grandmothering ways is a whole new thing to live into. I love thinking about this, now, inside the framework of God’s mothering ways, that you express so beautifully in your poem. To notice that both of us embody something of God’s mothering love is humbling and inspiring.
I find myself getting tangled in this idea that to act in love is to act with sacrifice. Is love to sacrifice? It certainly can be, yet I worry if we place too much focus on sacrifice we risk a danger of giving too much of ourselves thinking that we are loving. I know I’m a better mother when I’m not over giving. In fact, I have more to give when I’ve first filled myself. Mostly thinking out loud here. I know sacrifice is a big theme for Christians and this may be my deconstruction talking.
The love that most captures me is the love that bears with me and sees me. That motherly love that holds me as I cry and sits by me when I’m sick. I’m compelled by the God who saw Hagar when no one else did. The God who became flesh and bore the pain and suffering of humanity.
Then again, perhaps I’m responding based on the kind of love I most need. Perhaps a more sacrificial love is what someone else most needs?
This is a beautiful and valid question, Kim! I hope others who see this weigh in, but here are some off-the-cuff thoughts...
I think there's an important distinction between sacrifice and unhealthy martyrdom, because "to sacrifice" is to make sacred. When people give and give and give without filling themselves up, often it's a compulsion, not true sacrifice at all. True sacrifice isn't about giving something up, it's about setting it apart. I do think that love includes sacrifice on multiple levels, big and small. We give our time, energy, and resources to the people we love, not because we are compelled to, but because we are choosing to. That same God who saw Hagar and bore the pain and suffering of humanity made a choice to do so; His hand was not forced. That's love. And that's our example.
Like everything, there are unhealthy extremes to this thinking. But I hope I've explained how I think--theologically--sacrifice and love are supposed to be connected.
Sitting with this idea, too, —how does sacrifice become sacred?—which led me to notice how the words from The Love Chapter (I Corinthians 13) are about sacrifice—‘not this, but This’. That our choosing, in each small or big moment, can be a sacrifice borne out of love.
“Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
Julian is one of my favorites also. She was the subject of a couple of posts of mine here recently. I’m amazed that a 14th century mystic is still beloved and revered even today. Thank you for sharing this.
I’ve just returned from a ten day visit with my daughter’s family. Celebrating Mother’s Day together was a special time to reflect and notice how my mothering ways have been passed on. She remembers my patience (though I think she’s way more patient with her three teenagers than I ever was!). And now I find expressing Grandmothering ways is a whole new thing to live into. I love thinking about this, now, inside the framework of God’s mothering ways, that you express so beautifully in your poem. To notice that both of us embody something of God’s mothering love is humbling and inspiring.
I find myself getting tangled in this idea that to act in love is to act with sacrifice. Is love to sacrifice? It certainly can be, yet I worry if we place too much focus on sacrifice we risk a danger of giving too much of ourselves thinking that we are loving. I know I’m a better mother when I’m not over giving. In fact, I have more to give when I’ve first filled myself. Mostly thinking out loud here. I know sacrifice is a big theme for Christians and this may be my deconstruction talking.
The love that most captures me is the love that bears with me and sees me. That motherly love that holds me as I cry and sits by me when I’m sick. I’m compelled by the God who saw Hagar when no one else did. The God who became flesh and bore the pain and suffering of humanity.
Then again, perhaps I’m responding based on the kind of love I most need. Perhaps a more sacrificial love is what someone else most needs?
This is a beautiful and valid question, Kim! I hope others who see this weigh in, but here are some off-the-cuff thoughts...
I think there's an important distinction between sacrifice and unhealthy martyrdom, because "to sacrifice" is to make sacred. When people give and give and give without filling themselves up, often it's a compulsion, not true sacrifice at all. True sacrifice isn't about giving something up, it's about setting it apart. I do think that love includes sacrifice on multiple levels, big and small. We give our time, energy, and resources to the people we love, not because we are compelled to, but because we are choosing to. That same God who saw Hagar and bore the pain and suffering of humanity made a choice to do so; His hand was not forced. That's love. And that's our example.
Like everything, there are unhealthy extremes to this thinking. But I hope I've explained how I think--theologically--sacrifice and love are supposed to be connected.
Funny thing about words, they can sometimes take on baggage. I love the reminder that sacrifice is to make sacred. Going to sit with that.
Sitting with this idea, too, —how does sacrifice become sacred?—which led me to notice how the words from The Love Chapter (I Corinthians 13) are about sacrifice—‘not this, but This’. That our choosing, in each small or big moment, can be a sacrifice borne out of love.
“Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
I enjoyed this very much. Thanks!