15 Comments

In 2020, my wife and I were fortunate enough to purchase my childhood home that my mother had previously leased. It needed a massive overhaul of work as the home was built in 1913 and is full of "charm." But without the extra money to pay laborers we did almost all of the work ourselves. With extremely limited experience we tore out old carpet, laid new flooring, changed light fixtures, replaced door locks and spent loads of time taking care of countless smaller "fixes" along the way. We even built our own picket fence for the front yard, which I'm pretty proud of.

Form sharing my experience with actual contractors I've learned that most work like this is indeed more of an art than a science. Doing this type of work ourselves has given my wife and I a load of confidence when it comes to house projects that arise and I would say has simply made us more confident and capable people overall.

And the work really just reinforced to me that we won't accomplish anything if we're not willing to take the risk of failure.

Expand full comment
Jul 12, 2023Liked by S.E. Reid

In such a season right now, I'll let you know whether I become a butterfly or a moth. Or, a misidentified chrysalis that is actually full of a thousand tiny praying mantises.

Expand full comment

This February, I reduced my hours at work to part-time. I've worked full time for 25 years, & have been the breadwinner of a family for 20 of those. So it's a big deal. It was a decision born of burnout, accelerated by the recent pandemic (I work in healthcare) but led by prayer. On paper, by the numbers & with wage stagnation, it makes no sense. But I've felt the call for years (anyone else find they can ignore the "still small voice" and need the Holy Spirit to knock them upside the head with a 2x4 in order to make a change?). If this is my midlife crisis, in which I spend more time writing, gardening, & baking, then my husband & kids can sleep easy at night.

Expand full comment

My most significant leaf-turning has been a slow and rather painful process. It involves speaking my mind to family members, when I've always held my tongue. Long story short, it didn't go well. And when in the aftermath, I didn't appreciate the way things were handled, I went and spoke my mind again. I spent a lot of time leading up to these difficult conversations feeling frustrated and unheard, and would spend the entire time driving home from family events (often upwards of five hours--yikes) talking through it with my husband. I felt like a doormat, or a wallflower. I didn't want to do that anymore. As far as lessons learned up until this time that shaped how this leaf-turning came about go, I learned that time is short and precious and I'd rather spend it trying to heal wounds than letting them fester, even if it's easier to fester. I learned that real, deep, meaningful relationships are important to me and when there is a surface relationship where there ought to be a significant one, I tend to get hurt because I invest more than I'm invested in. I learned that taking a risk is better than sulking in silence. And so, I spoke up. And the reaction hasn't been what I hoped. I'm hoping that this is like a wildfire, and the scorched earth will prove to be wildly fertile and new and better relationships will spring up because of it. It looks pretty black and burned now, though, so we'll see. Whatever comes of it, I'm learning to stand up for myself, to not automatically doubt myself when conflict arises, and to have more grace in my own heart even if grace isn't extended to me. And, along those same lines, to allow the grace that I want/need from my siblings to instead come from the source that allows for leaf-turning to happen in the first place, my loving Savior.

Expand full comment