Welcome to The Wildroot Parables weekly discussions! This is where we can come together as a community and have real talk with one another: open, honest, gracious, and curious.
This is YOUR space to discuss with each another, not just engage with me! Because of this, SAFE SHARING is my highest priority. If you are not engaging safely and with grace with others, you will have to leave. Period.
Thank you for entering this space with care!
Here’s our question for this week:
What barriers do you face when you think about giving a “cup of tea, without poison” to someone you seriously dislike, or—frankly—just go out of your way to daily avoid?
Honestly, I like to be right. And I tend to want to withhold a cup of tea from my enemy until they acknowledge that I'm right. We can get along, as long as you understand that you misunderstood me, or misrepresented me, or that you were wrong. SIGH. But that's not how it works, is it? We are supposed to extend grace the same way Christ did: WHILE we are still enemies. We're supposed to see our shared humanity and give from that place, without poison. And that's really really hard for me.
I have always been a very judgmental person. It’s almost like a reflex that in the first instance I’ll make assumptions about someone right out of the gate even though life has shown time and again that those assumptions then more often than not prove to be false. So where this stings for me is when I feel led to offer that “cup of tea” to someone…am I sprinkling some judgement into the cup while passing it to them. Megan in this thread said, “ I’ll be pondering a long time what it would look like to set aside my own judgements and offer tea, unpoisoned by my own pride. A first step is praying for them without those judgements.” I think that statement will tick over in my mind and heart for a looooong time. In addition I am also asking myself how this applies to whenever I ask someone for forgiveness. Or whenever someone asks me for forgiveness. Do I then truly pray and hope nothing but the best for those people and think more highly of them than I do of myself? Or do I sneak in a sprinkle of poison? Not enough that anyone would know. But enough.
Ouch, this is seriously tough. And the flipside is tough for me, too: hoping THEY aren't judging ME when I extend a kindness. I hate being misunderstood.
Ooooof, yes, Alex. “Do I truly pray & hope nothing but the best for those people and think more highly of them than I do myself? Or do I sneak in a sprinkle of poison? Not enough that anyone would know. But enough”..... Exactly. Such good thoughts. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Alex. I’ll be mulling yours too.
This was such a profound read & really challenged me. And, I was struck & humbled by WHO came to mind when reading about offering a cup of tea, unpoisoned. I may offer tea to this person but that tea often is served with bitterness and passive aggressiveness cloaked as something “good”. THEY likely have no idea, but the truth is my own opinions and judgements taint the tea I offer (& let’s be honest, I’m not offering it that often because frankly, I don’t want to) Tea has the power to heal, but the tea I’ve been offering isn’t particularly healing for this person. I’ll be pondering a long time what it would look like to set aside my own judgements and offer tea, unpoisoned by my own pride. A first step is praying for them without those judgements.
That passive aggressiveness is such a killer! Same here. And I love that you threaded the needle on that: "tea has the power to heal, but the tea I've been offering isn't particularly healing for this person." Oof! Very good.
Thank you for sharing that. Added an extra layer to what I’ve been pondering following Monday’s posting and challenged me further. I’m still thinking through some things before I share my thoughts but this helped me focus those thoughts a bit more. Much appreciated.
Honestly, I like to be right. And I tend to want to withhold a cup of tea from my enemy until they acknowledge that I'm right. We can get along, as long as you understand that you misunderstood me, or misrepresented me, or that you were wrong. SIGH. But that's not how it works, is it? We are supposed to extend grace the same way Christ did: WHILE we are still enemies. We're supposed to see our shared humanity and give from that place, without poison. And that's really really hard for me.
STOP IT!!! I don’t like this…it’s too hard 🤣
I have always been a very judgmental person. It’s almost like a reflex that in the first instance I’ll make assumptions about someone right out of the gate even though life has shown time and again that those assumptions then more often than not prove to be false. So where this stings for me is when I feel led to offer that “cup of tea” to someone…am I sprinkling some judgement into the cup while passing it to them. Megan in this thread said, “ I’ll be pondering a long time what it would look like to set aside my own judgements and offer tea, unpoisoned by my own pride. A first step is praying for them without those judgements.” I think that statement will tick over in my mind and heart for a looooong time. In addition I am also asking myself how this applies to whenever I ask someone for forgiveness. Or whenever someone asks me for forgiveness. Do I then truly pray and hope nothing but the best for those people and think more highly of them than I do of myself? Or do I sneak in a sprinkle of poison? Not enough that anyone would know. But enough.
Ouch, this is seriously tough. And the flipside is tough for me, too: hoping THEY aren't judging ME when I extend a kindness. I hate being misunderstood.
Such a great point!
Ooooof, yes, Alex. “Do I truly pray & hope nothing but the best for those people and think more highly of them than I do myself? Or do I sneak in a sprinkle of poison? Not enough that anyone would know. But enough”..... Exactly. Such good thoughts. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Alex. I’ll be mulling yours too.
Happy to share Megan. Looking forward to more good discussions here as more folks hopefully join in. Blessings.
Blessings to you as well <3
This was such a profound read & really challenged me. And, I was struck & humbled by WHO came to mind when reading about offering a cup of tea, unpoisoned. I may offer tea to this person but that tea often is served with bitterness and passive aggressiveness cloaked as something “good”. THEY likely have no idea, but the truth is my own opinions and judgements taint the tea I offer (& let’s be honest, I’m not offering it that often because frankly, I don’t want to) Tea has the power to heal, but the tea I’ve been offering isn’t particularly healing for this person. I’ll be pondering a long time what it would look like to set aside my own judgements and offer tea, unpoisoned by my own pride. A first step is praying for them without those judgements.
That passive aggressiveness is such a killer! Same here. And I love that you threaded the needle on that: "tea has the power to heal, but the tea I've been offering isn't particularly healing for this person." Oof! Very good.
Thank you for sharing that. Added an extra layer to what I’ve been pondering following Monday’s posting and challenged me further. I’m still thinking through some things before I share my thoughts but this helped me focus those thoughts a bit more. Much appreciated.
Thanks, Alex. I look forward to hearing your thoughts <3