Fear & Theophany

a revisited essay for Michaelmas

Thank you for joining us!

Before we begin, I wanted to share a Comment Highlight from Monday’s discussion question:

Megan Meyer

of Holy HSP wrote:

What comes to my mind for me personally is less of the natural seasons and more of seasons of mental/emotional capacity. Autumn is an extra full season at work for me, every year. It's an annual thing of which I have no control over the dates (I wish I did, because autumn is my favorite and I wish I could enjoy it a bit more), but every year ... as October 1st gets closer and closer I feel that panic. I know that soon my time will be limited, my brain capacity dwindled with extra phone calls and work, so I feel the need to prepare and persevere my mental health as best as I can leading up to the busier season. Thankfully the weather does begin to cool down here in the hot and humid Midwest, which means I can enjoy more time in nature which preserves my mental health.

Thank you for sharing, Megan! I hope and pray you’re able to find pockets of peace in Creation during this busy, busy season.

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Photo by Vladimir Fedotov on Unsplash

Fear & Theophany

NOTE: This meditation originally appeared last year on Michaelmas day. I have adapted and updated it, and I bring it to you with new resources and a poem that was originally published in last year’s exclusive September ebook.

Berries Before Michaelmas

I reach
and pluck the berry
from the vine

and the fire of a thorn
burns
like the enemy’s anger;

I grumble,
but what is there to do?

the goose-bright wingbeats
of the sword-bearing angel
are distant now
but drawing nearer;

soon
each blackberry bush
will be aflame
with gold and red, orange and brown
and the berries will wither
in the merciless rain;

I pause to look up
at the bluebird sky;

waiting for the angel
protector
messenger

to tell me
everything

has changed.

---

The Scripture is absolutely full of instances where fearful people are told—usually by angels—Fear not!

And that has always made me wonder: does fear really have no place in a life of faith?

If I’m honest, I like a bit of fear. I enjoy horror movies, especially ones that are less focused on gore and more focused on compelling narratives. I love a good ghost story. I appreciate suspense and mystery. It’s a taste of fear. Controlled fear, not likely to do any real harm.

Is such fear a sin?

Fear is such an interesting emotion that human society has built whole traditions around it. The modern-day upcoming “spooky season” around Hallowe’en used to frustrate and frighten me, but now I find it an important societal ritual in the arc of the year. It puts all our ghosts and goblins in one place. It asks us to ponder mortality without losing ourselves.

But we’ll talk more about Hallowe’en at a later date, don’t you worry.

Instead, tomorrow is Michaelmas, the liturgical celebration of Saint Michael the Archangel. There are all kinds of traditions around this day, many of them rooted in foundations that are lost to time.

A rather unusual feast day, but a notable one, Michaelmas is the celebration of the archangel Michael. Once considered a major observance in the financial and academic year, anymore you don’t find many people celebrating this feast. But it’s quite a fascinating one! Michael has long been invoked by Christians for protection against evil and is often considered the greatest of the angels, defeating Lucifer in the battle of Heaven. Michael is often depicted defeating a dragon and is sometimes mounted on a fiery horse, sword in hand. The dragon is Satan, trampled under the feet of the angel and his steed, vanquished.

For more about the various traditions surrounding this season, I highly recommend this article from my dear friend,

Kristin Haakenson

:

The Michaelmas Daisy among dead weeds / Blooms for St. Michael’s valourous deeds

Michael, like most angels, is a symbol of divine power, of strength, and of the utter triumph of good over evil. But he is also, like most angels, fearful to behold. Even terrifying.

Fear not!

In the Bible, people were encouraged not to fear because those doing the encouraging were extremely fearful to behold. Real, biblical angels are frightening. God in His glory is completely overwhelming to the point where mortals are unable to look upon His face. The fear around these beings is cosmic, mind-altering. Theophany, the experience of truly meeting God in a visible form, leaves no one unchanged.

So we are told, as gently as possible over the rushing of angelic wings and the chorus of jubilant saints, Fear not!

But just in case no one told you, I think it’s important to be clear:

Fear is not a sin. Fear is the proper response to the unknown, the unusual, in a dangerous and unpredictable world. It is where our minds run when we think we might be harmed. When we know better, we soften. But until then, we close like a slammed door.

And God knows this, better than anyone. Fear, after all, is a gift in a world where harm and death exist. Fear can serve us, in a crisis. Fear can preserve us, when wielded correctly. God allows us to fear because fear is necessary in such a world.

That is why the first words from His lips and those of His messengers are Fear not.

It’s not because it’s wrong to be afraid. It’s because He knows that the mechanism He gave us to protect ourselves in this fallen world has only one key, and it is understanding. Gentleness. Love.

He speaks, the only key to calm our fear in the face of holy terror, of pure glory. The greatest Unknown there is.

Fear not, because I know you are afraid.

Fear not, because I understand.

Fear not, because I’m not here to harm or frighten you.

Fear not.

Open the door, let Me in.

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