Weāve been speaking this week about the grief that can come with seasonal transitions, especially from summer into autumn. For every person who is chomping at the bit to drink their first PSL and break out their coziest sweaters, there are those who would simply rather stay in the holy heat of summer. Itās understandable.
During these moments of profound transition, I often think about how clever our ancestors were, no matter what people-group you descended from. If you go back far enough in your family tree, youāll find very wise people who had a ritual, ceremony, or rite for everything. Change was always accompanied by observation, celebration, a mark in time. No transition was allowed to pass unnoticed.
There is a deeper intelligence at work in the calendar than simply marking the passage of time. Our ancestors eased their way through the inevitable grief of change by banding together and moving forward as a community. They celebrated together, they grieved together. They were not perfect, but in their ceremonies and observances they allowed for every emotion to be understood and given space.
This is something our modern world does not do. At least, not automatically.
Building that kind of ritual into your life takes work, but it is possible. Building that kind of community into your life takes work, but it is possible.
I loved your responses to our discussion question yesterday about the tools you use to navigate change. Below Iāve shared a few tools that I use to turn my feelings about change into rituals, ceremonies, and practices. (Please comment below if you have anything to add to my list!)
Tools for Turning:
Notice. Be mindful of your feelings in the midst of a transition or change. ALL of your emotions, no matter how frustrating they are. Note them. Give them names.
Allow. Instead of judging yourself for your feelingsāsomething easy to do when we feel alone in our emotionsāgive yourself permission to feel them. Understand them as natural and normal. Donāt sort them into āgoodā and ābadāā¦just let them be.
Make Sacred. Find a way to ritualize your feelings, to give them their proper weight, and then give them to God. Write them down, perhaps. Turn them into music, art, or sculpture. Burn them on a bonfire, if it helps. Weep, laugh, or sit in reverent silence. Cover your head. Wear a color that means something. Feed the birds, the squirrels, the fish. Clean an area of your space that needs cleaning. Make a small altar. Whisper your feelings into the ear of an empathetic pet.
Share. The hardest step, arguably. Share the ritual of your feelings with others. You may be surprised how many feel the same way. You may be shocked at the community that rises up. Let yourself be amazed by fellowship.
when the wheel turns, walk gently so as not to lose your footing.
at every season, you are new
you have never been you at this time, before
so look into the mirror
and inquire:
who are you now?
Did this piece resonate with you? Take a moment to share it!
If you enjoy this piece, please let me know by tapping the heart to like, comment with your thoughts, share with someone you think will enjoy it, and subscribe to get instant access to my future work right to your inbox. Blessings!
I've been thinking about Ritual a lot lately in different contexts, but never made the connection you make here. We can leverage ritual to take control of the "uncontrollable". Seasons change whether we like it or not--but we can use ritual to participate in it, and mark the occasion.
This has applications to all kinds of change, too--a commenter on the previous article mentioned personal seasons or "seasons of life" and there's a way we can leverage ritual for that too. Birthdays, for example--a great opportunity to follow your N.A.M.S. tools and embrace a new age and new season of life that comes with it. (I'm thinking really hard about how to make that a snappy acronym!)
Great food for thought, thank you!