O borderless, boundless God, tell me, if You know: what is this poisonous urge I have to stake claim to build fences to defend what is not mine? why must I harm what I do not understand? why must I burn offerings to my fear of difference? O God who breaks the walls parts the sea and rips the veil in two: cast down the idol I have built that tells me my way is best. confront me with the places where the walls I’ve built keep me imprisoned. and show me how I’ve crafted fences so high that I can no longer see Your face.
Since the audience for this newsletter is all over the world across 33 countries (hello, world!), I try not to spend too much time on USA-specific holidays and observances, here. But today is Indigenous Peoples’ Day, and I felt that it would be appropriate to share the previously-written prayer above, along with a new reflection on this newish federal observance.Â
A recent replacement to an older and more controversial celebration, Indigenous People’s Day is an ideal (if uncomfortable) time to reflect upon and grieve the ways we choose to harm others for the sake of our own advancement. The historical harm done to Indigenous people worldwide comes from a place deep within each human heart that still exists and must be fought and overcome daily.Â
In October, while the veil is thinning and my ancestors are on my mind, I can’t ignore that my own family tree contains a legacy of this advancement. I have settlers, colonists, and pioneers in my background. Most were simple people just trying to make their way in the world, sure, but it was often to the detriment of others. I can respect their will to survive and honor their memory while also recognizing that their presence in this country meant suppression of the native people of this land.Â
It’s a conundrum, but one I feel that I may not shy away from.Â
In the end, what I feel is most important about today centers around looking deep within, to my own heart. Finding the seedlings of vices there that eventually grow into life-ruining forces. Greed, selfishness, and a desire to be right all find their logical conclusion in colonialism and violence. It is up to each of us to stop those forces from marching onward, and that begins within ourselves. We may not be able to control the arc of history, but we can often control the arc of our own choices in life.Â
And so, I ask myself, on this day: what kind of ancestor do I want to be?
And I let the answer be my fervent prayer.
Discussion Question
It’s a heavy one, but if you’re brave enough, let’s not shy away from it: what kind of ancestor do YOU want to be? What traits do you want to be remembered for? What patterns do you want to build or break?
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The more we marginalize, minimize, and demonize "the Other," the easier it becomes to treat other people -- and even other people groups -- as valueless. They become mere impediments to the pursuit of our own selfish goals and aspirations. Tragically, this is true of individuals, religious groups, ethnic groups, even entire nations. In my own small way, here where God has planted me, I pray that I can be the "Jesus kind" of ancestor. He valued and embraced the marginalized (and offended the establishment in the process). He was Lahai Roi -- "the God who sees me." He saw those we too often refuse to see. Can I be even a little bit like that? That would be a worthy legacy.
Since I have become a grandmother, I have been reflecting more on what would be my legacy. Maybe not what I want to be remember for but « who am I being now that can transcend time in my descendants ? »
I wrote a piece a day or so before you asked the question and this is part of it:
« I desire to be used for the good of humanity.
I desire to serve from my heart and expand the awareness of love.
I believe there is no higher truth and purpose for myself than being a vessel of love and transformation.
Yes, I feel all the feels. I wonder if I’ll have enough courage. I wonder if I’ll still be grateful on those days when my body doesn’t move or I experience mental fatigue.
And I remember what I am here for.
Being a guiding light. Being of service. Loving. »
I wish that my descendants hold these values sacred for the good all of humanity.